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Illustrated by: Vasco Designs
Money is a hot topic. Couples fight more about money than about any other issue. This is because, in one small package, money represents time, effort, opportunity, material stuff, status, freedom, safety, affirmation, problem solving, success, rescue, failure, responsibility, leisure, connection, conflict, and the list goes on.
What’s more, at no time in history have more institutions and commercial establishments made spending money easier (in the form of credit)!
With the diversity of the meaning of money intersecting with its tremendous availability, young people and newlyweds MUST be money-savvy, and far more savvy than previous generations. From knowing how much debt your partner might have, to understanding how and when your partner likes to spend money, those planning on tying the knot can’t leave out discussing money as a critical bonding issue.
Although terrifying to some, discussing a pre-nup MUST happen for every informed couple. The insightful know that avoiding continuous issues doesn’t make them go away. And, contrary to folk wisdom, discussing a pre-nup is not an indication of doubts in the relationship, at least no more than is buying insurance a desire for some catastrophe. To drive the point home, you don’t increase the likelihood of a car accident by putting on your seatbelt!
Another critical bit of money wisdom for the betrothed is The Three Bank Account Rule. Members of ever healthy, contemporary couple know that being in a relationship doesn’t mean you disappear as an independent person. Independence means that you still get to do and pursue the things that interest you as an individual while you remain a member of a healthy and vital partnership. Often interests and pursuits require money and being able to access and spend that money without “asking permission” is a critically important feature of being an adult. Thus, healthy couples have a joint bank account that is used to meet couple needs like housing, food, and utilities.
However, each individual also has their own private account so they can continue to make independent, adult spending choices.
The informed couple learns how to deal with money issues before they become potential problems or even deal-breakers. Consequently, a discussion of money and financial styles with the one who gets you hot will help prevent both of you from getting burned.
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